Although the holidays are thought of as the season of happiness and hope, many people find themselves feeling the opposite this time of year. With so much emphasis on family and love, it’s natural to reflect on those missing from the table, then feel their loss all over again.
If you’re reading this, you already know that humans aren’t the only late loved ones we grieve. Whether they passed recently or decades ago, losing an animal can also bring about some holiday blues.
Struggling to face the holidays following animal loss? You’re in good company – each year, I’m visited by the memory of my late dog Morgan. Here’s what he taught me about losing an animal companion, with advice for managing the holiday season specifically.
Make space for your feelings, and don’t entertain guilt
As the old saying goes – grief doesn’t follow a schedule. The holidays are emotionally charged, so it’s not unusual to smile at a memory one moment and cry the next – that’s what the healing process looks like.
No matter the timing of your loss, your emotions are 100% valid and deserve acknowledgement. When you feel a surge of sadness coming, try journaling it out, sharing it with a loved one, or simply taking a quiet moment to reflect.
Most importantly, resist the urge to suppress your sadness to fit the box of ‘holiday cheer’. Don’t beat yourself up for feeling what you feel! Guilt isn’t just unproductive – it’s also unfair to you and your animal’s memory.
Reflect on your animal companion’s most important lessons
As you make space for your feelings, try focusing on your best memories with your animal. What did you love about your relationship with them? Which of their personality traits and quirks put a smile on your face? What made your connection with them so special?
As my students know well, animals have a lot to say in life and death. Animals teach us more than we often realise in the moment—lessons about unconditional love, loyalty, joy, and even patience.
That’s why my favourite way to honour an animal’s legacy is to reflect specifically on the lessons they taught you. If it helps, write out these learnings on paper and display them on your bedside table or beside a photo of them.
Gather and display mementoes
If your animal’s loss was recent, stumbling upon items associated with their memory may be triggering!
Instead of letting these mementoes catch you by surprise, consider compiling and displaying them in one area. For example, if you have a Christmas tree, place your animal’s collar and toys alongside your presents. Or, if you hang stockings, dedicate one to your animal and place those mementoes inside. You can also fill their old bowl with their favourite food when the rest of your family sits down for dinner.
No matter how you celebrate the holidays, incorporating physical memories of your animal into rituals can turn negative feelings into positive ones. And depending on your spiritual beliefs, those mementoes can invite your animal’s spirit to join in the celebration, too!
Rest, recharge, and give yourself space
Grief and loss take a physical toll on your body, regardless if your late loved one was a human or an animal. If you find yourself feeling tired and drained, it’s important to make time and space to heal.
Whether you take a long walk, meditate, or enjoy a quiet moment in bed, small acts of kindness toward yourself can boost your mood. Though easier said than done, it’s also essential to let go of expectations about how you ‘should’ feel or behave.
Remember: they’ll always be with you
Love transcends the physical realm, making your bond with your animal eternal. Even when you can’t see them, you can feel their spirit live on in countless ways. From the memories they gave to the lessons they imparted, the mark they left on your life will always be there!
This holiday season, try your best to celebrate the everlasting nature of their legacy. Share stories with loved ones, imagine how they’d react to the festivities, and revisit their favourite spots. Embrace the ways their spirit remains, expressing gratitude for the connection you feel from the other side.
These lessons and more from Morgan inspired my book The Animal Communicator’s Guide Through Life, Loss, and Love. From my family to yours, I wish you a healing holiday season filled with love, gratitude, and the everlasting spirit of your late loved ones — human and animal alike.
